“Would you look at that!?”
“That’s pretty neat”
“Mitchel, line one”
“Look dude! You have my KID!!!”
“That’s what happens when two things get bound up, and let
me tell you, I was SCARED”
The scene opens in a kitchen with a few people around,
imagine a very laid back get together. A man and woman are sitting at the
counter talking. The man, Drew, doesn’t like babies, and a young couple with a
new born enter the room. The father,
Devan, knows Drew doesn’t like babies and brings the baby over to him.
Devan to Drew – Hey man, hold my baby for a second, I need a
break.
Drew – No way Devan, you know how I feel about babies, once
she starts walking and talking, I will want to play with her.
Devan – Come on! Its not scary, you can handle this!
Drew – I know I can handle it, but I don’t want to handle
your kid!
Devan – Okay, okay I will leave it alone.
Seconds later Devan comes back and sets the baby right on
Drew’s lap and tries to get him to take her.
Devan – Dude Look! You’ve got my kid!!
Drew cowers back because he really does not want to hold
this kid.
Drew – Seriously!? I thought you were going to let this go!
Why is everyone so interested in me holding this kid!?
Devan – Why are you so afraid to hold my kid? The worst
thing she could do is poop on you!
Drew – Yeah and everyone is really okay with a kid defecating
in their lap.
Devan – Its really not that bad. – Spoken in a sarcastic
tone as a joke –
The babies mother comes and takes the child with a disapproving
look on her face.
Mother – If he doesn’t want to hold the baby he doesn’t have
to! Now leave him alone!
Drew – Thank you! Now on with the party!
I think the premise would be more entertaining if you had a few lines of dialogue between Drew and another partygoer at the head of the scene that made it clear he does not like babies and then cast Devan as someone who does not know this and is constantly seeking help from the last person that wants to give it. It's like the theory that pets love to get close to people that are allergic to them. There's something creepy and off-putting about a father knowingly pushing his child off on someone who wants nothing to do with her.
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